posting on instagram stories is so fucking weird until you have a crush and then it becomes Your Life’s Work

This is absolutely brilliant

‘Let’s just throw out the rule book.’ ‘You mean like…an open collar?’ ‘Gasp!’

I was sent this by a friend before but it still makes me cackle.

Very slow day for us today 😕 Please come and support us if you are in town tomorrow or next week and fancy a coffee and some cake. We can only carry on the work we do if we have customers through the door.

If you don’t listen already then you must get on board… these dudes are just brilliant ⁦Romesh Ranganathan⁩ ⁦Tom Davis⁩ podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/wol…

when the thirst trap is seen by the intended viewer

having boobs in the summer pros: looking incredible in sun dresses cons: literally everything else

Yes to everything about this article! Sustainability needs a compelling and doable narrative - step forward storytelling! #sustainablesolutions #storytelling #planetplacing

POV: Your girl asks you to take a pic of her on holiday 🌴📸

Feeling this tbh

Inside every woman is two wolves. One wolf want long gorgeous mermaid hair. The second wolf wants to just chop it all off. There is also a crow pulling the tails of both wolves saying to get bangs. The crow is the most dangerous.

Page not found.. my web team think they're so funny.

Woman (receiving a massive hug from a friend she has just met): Hi! (she steps back and looks at her) Your human face! Your beautiful human face.

no i will NOT be reading your article on “60 easy dinners that take less than 30 minutes.” have you heard of cereal

I believe the main difference is that one will see you later and the other will see you in awhile. I could be wrong, I'm not a zoologist.

Daily affirmation: I am smart, capable and have perfect tits

Good with words sure, but does she have anything to say? Introducing I Am Not A Muse… iamnotamuse.substack.com/p/2-growing-pa…

I thought this was an extract from a new Jilly Cooper but Jilly writes too well for this to be hers.