Want to make people laugh at a party? Ask your computer to make a funny joke for you

He’s optimized hoe scaring. Truly a visionary

that part in the dark knight where alfred just casually reminisces about doing some light MI6 puppet government shit and frames a robin hood figure as the villain

really love how we as a society pretend the muppets are real sentient creatures with lives and careers of their own

butterfinn

written and produced by jimmy carr btw #staywoke

Why would Lisa Simpson be rushing out of jazz band the second the clock strikes. Lisa loves playing jazz, she loves her saxophone, and she’s very punctual and well-behaved. Every time I watch the intro it seems to betray her very character and it disorientates me

i keep seeing “i’m single + sad + alone & surrounded by couples 😔🥲” content a lot lately & i think those people would feel a little better if they realized that a lot (a LOTTT) of folks have settled lol. you too could find someone if you threw a standard or four out the window!

oh noooo, not the ancient “Live, Laugh, Love” mosaic

bridget christie

💚💚💚

still wondering why Sam grew that beard

enjoyed listening to this in the audio-only version + enjoyed reliving it with the video version

Steve Merchant's old writing buddy

“Why is Africa so poor.” Because the continent literally subsidises the living standards of the rest of the world. You think it’s a coincidence Africans stay poor to maintain these standards? Bless your heart.

can’t wait for tech overlords to spend a trillion dollars trying to upload their consciousness to the cloud and then we just unplug it.

if a guy ever spreads a rumour that you had sex with him, don’t deny it. use it. tell everyone how bad he was, make up weird fetishes, say he moaned his mother’s name, destroy him

🥲

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