For having brought great shame to this weekly zoom meeting for my tardiness, I will now commit ritual sudoku on camera

Just wrapped a client meeting. Female. 73 and healthy. 2 adult kids (age 42 and 47). 13 year old grandson. Plenty of money for her comfortable retirement. The conversation was mostly focused on estate planning and encouraging her to feel okay giving money to her adult

when you start doin a little TOO good at an online game

Reading, painting, gardening, astronomy... Women just want to date Leonardo Da Vinci

This would make the best VR game evar.

When I get added to a client call to explain our latest feature release

I made Mac and Cheese with 5 different kinds of Cheese and I’m Lactose intolerant. My Stomach:

Wife seeing me put on jeans for the first time of the season: did you buy skinny jeans? Me, staring into the distance: the passage of time makes skinny jeans of them all

the most insane thing i have ever seen in my entire life please god watch this

why tf is it writing code

It should come as no great surprise that a Democratic Party which has abandoned working class people would find that the working class has abandoned them. While the Democratic leadership defends the status quo, the American people are angry and want change. And they’re right.

Guerilla marketing campaign for the next assassin's creed

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Aw crap. I accidentally got addicted to the calculator that doesnt get anything right and was only invented six months ago. I let it do everything for me 🤦🏻‍♀️ But at least I have more free time to eat poop and crap from the toilet

You don’t hear a lot about little picture guys

Looking back on it, John Wick sure loves fucking up art exhibits

this guy has been buying and returning 110lb anvils on Amazon for 8 months now

Me: do you love me? *400,000 gallons of drinking water are converted into an infinitely dense toxic black sludge that is excreted out from the effluent pipe on a Nevada server farm* ChatGPT: Yes -- Im wife . Not only that, mmm but lnnb , largge Wife Me: oh my God it's human

travis kelce is known for his ability to handle a "hail mary pass" time will only tell if his newly betrothed can handle his "male hairy ass"