helping my bf practice bits for the party he’s abt to go to

saw a mission impossible spoiler that derailed my entire day

not the split diopter shot in final destination 3. ok Brian de Palma.

Bret Easton ELLIS 😍

kind of sad everyone has the same favorite simple machine (pulley of course) very little love for the wedge :/

in tabis, no less

turning 30 next month and they’re already trying to take me

a lot of boring ass hall monitor types on here talking about how Nathan fielder faked that flight. have some whimsy I’m BEGGING

holding my Bret Easton Ellis book cover out on the elevator to my corporate job

I want to live a life of service I want to donate my incredibly square jaw to a chinless man who could really use it

had to be let in to the goodwill bathroom I am the most vip woman in suburban Colorado

couldn’t be me

and just like that season 3 ep 1

telling the group chat I was moments away from being present for a molotov cocktail attack and? crickets.

my father has spoken: hooters still has the best wings (he orders his completely plain)

how can my dad inflict trauma upon me AND grill a delicious beer can chicken? Well, it’s not as complicated as you’d think.

just stopped to smell the roses…damn that rocked why does no one tell you to do that?!

walking through the empty casino as the sun rose on my 30th year as Lana Del Rey’s “hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have - but I have it” blasted from above Omen

the entire state building

my bf doesnt like espresso by sabrina carpenter bc he is "such a huge fan of the drink" and the song "doesn't do it justice"