two birds are literally trying to kill me with one stone

why are the only jobs for people over 80 either walmart greeter or world leader.

"Are you wearing the--" "The wig that got that lady fired from Hannah Montana? Yeah, I am."

How do I sue everyone

I refuse to get a job until this Covid nonsense blows over

You know what.. it’s been way too long since I’ve been in a lazy river. Bitch I love a lazy river!

I bet the honeymoon period of joining a cult is fucking awesome

wrong! nutty putty cave incident!

BREAKING NEWS: Kristi Noem is stepping away from politics to spend time motorboating her husband.

don’t care + boobs bounce when i walk

child free people on Easter Sunday:

"u can't drink on antidepressants" thats crazyyy, watch this!

this is my version of an egot

Come on people. We all know that Trump was dressed as a doctor.

I'm pushing on pull doors in buildings you've never heard of

i’m gonna start saying “not all men” when someone says something positive about a man

thinking about the matte blue scooby doo fruit snack

switching purses is such risky business