generally speaking i have extremely little interest in football content on youtube but i do make an exception for chrismd, mainly because im patiently waiting for him to realise that he likes men and i think the resulting shockwaves will be interesting

I’ve found this pasta that’s packed with protein and fiber and has like half the calories of regular pasta and it actually tastes pretty much like dress shoes.

(After not saying anything for 45 minutes) and does that come with a hot honey glaze?

Im sorry, because i need to add you to my mixture. Please go in my mixture

I threw my dog a ball. Extravagant I know, but she looks gorgeous in an evening gown.

I love to cook with wine. (soft sardonic smile) Sometimes I even put it in the food. (gentle chuckle) (Kissing your neck from behind now) I love to cook with wine bro

All adventurous women do.

I hope protesters aren’t doing all that marching and shouting because of me…

Imagine your bike has been at the Wright Brother’s repair shop for weeks and you see Orville suddenly whiz over your head in a contraption

Had to cheat to finish nyt sudoku for the second day in a row

This random person was already beating me in my online chess game and then they messaged me “Loser”

Having fun. at michaels ❤️

Ayo Edebiri photographed by Jaša Müller for Paper Magazine

[feeling like i have more in common with the dirt beneath my shoes than with the people around me] haha no big plans for me this weekend. what about you

My bad, I thought you said 2 Brilliant dollars. No i dont have that much

God I hope I'm in this. I could use the money

Donald J. Trump Your cameo in Home Alone 2 sucked