If I ever met Jurgen Klopp I’d say “omg if we have a baby we should call it Klipp” just so he’d raise an eyebrow at me and tell me I’m a moron and I’d be so naked by the time he’d finished doing that.

It finally happened.

Saturday morning at a soft play & it's like being in a Hieronymus Bosch painting

Much as I love Skyfall, the bit where Bond drives M to Scotland in his Aston Martin DB5 is very short on detail - in one scene they're in Chelsea, the next in the Highlands. You don't see them having a Burger King in Charnock Richard, or Wetherby Services if they'd taken the A1.

Brexit needs to be dead, the EU have already said the UK can rejoin the Single Market within months if we accept Freedom of Movement. It would save a fortune, make everything cheaper, and provide £40bn, £800m a week to spend on the NHS Why aren't we talking about it? #RejoinEU

Gojira playing at the Paris opening ceremony has really rocked my world What a performance!

Great to know during the Olympics #PARIS2024 #Olympics

I unlocked £30 Rush tickets for Starlight Express on TodayTix UK! todaytix.com/london/shows/2…

Songs are like old loves. You can still like them. You can believe they are worthy of love. You can wish them a happy and long life and be delighted they have friends that care for them. You just don’t want to kiss them anymore. It’s no more complicated than that.

Americans who sound like Carabao Cup ties

Comment '💙' and Repost this and you will get access to my inner circle 🔐 only available for the next 24h ‼️

New Cure album, everyone agree it’s phenomenal??

Maybe the world needs to get a loss worse before we can finally make it better

Sex is our only real purpose on this planet. Everyone thinks about sex all the time because that’s how we’re wired. We should all do it as much as we want and stop acting like it’s so serious <3

If I replied to your message at 2am when I was 18, I would've been just heading out to a club somewhere, If I reply to your message now that I'm 50 at 2am, it's because my bladder has woken me up & I can get back to sleep due to chronic heartburn.

Retweet if you’ve ever thought about fucking me

Sex pesto