Someone needs to rip my phone from me when l've had a couple drinks and fucking launch it a million miles away

New work drinking game: take a shot everytime someone annoys you

Weekends don't even matter when you get older, I get drunk on a fkn tuesday

"I'm no big fan of the judgmental barista and beer nerds. I mean, I like a good craft, but don't make me feel bad about my beer choices. You know what kind of beer I like? I like cold beer." - Anthony Bourdain

what if we replaced work with sitting outside and drinking beer

staying sober now until I'm asked to drink again

im built different, like incorrectly i think

I work so I can afford the amount of alcohol required to continue going to work

if you drink on a empty stomach, im staying outta your way stone cold steve austin

first time i drank i knew dat shit was for me

Me doing my taxes: Vapes write off: $29,735.00

i’m never drinking again unless yall wanna drink tonight

please stop bringing ur kids to the Park I'm trying to drink here

I got more pictures with alcohol than I do half of my entire family

Might go to prison so I can focus on the gym properly.

Got called a stupid alcoholic I’m not even stupid lmao😂

Y’all really be standing in the cold with that cigarette like it’s a hot chocolate

“i was born in 2007” sounds so fake bro nobody born that late

Get me a blue gatorade or call the ambulance please just do something

How to buy apple juice: Don't, put it back and get some alcohol