please stop bringing ur kids to the Park I'm trying to drink here

why do people named Thomas go by tom and not ass

sure my tattoos will look stupid when i get old but have you ever considered that they look stupid now too

28th birthday well spent ✅

it’s always "how was work" but never "quit and i'll take care of you"

nowhere to go & forever to get there

stop wearing Harley Davidson shirts if you don’t listen to his music

One time in a couple years ago I zoned out and I don't think I've ever zoned back in

“i was born in 2007” sounds so fake bro nobody born that late

if Kyle Pollett reply’s to this ill get another beer at this bar

one minute I was teenager and the next minute I was a 27 year old senior citizen

I am the naked window neighbor

every cart at walmart needs a front end alignment and a tire rotation

There’s a 3 bedroom, 2 bath pothole in the Walmart parking lot if anyone is looking

i would do absolutely anything for my friends except answer their text messages

Well dye my hair blue & call me Marge Simpson cause I love you homie

bless me Shakepay — Buy Bitcoin 🇨🇦 🙏🙏 (account: @666jared)

im fragile but not like flowers or glass, more like a cigarette in your pocket

Stop piercing your babies ears!! Give em a throat tat instead, that's way cooler

hey i’m back on twitter i figured out my login