There are few things scarier than your mom having a ziplock bag full of undeveloped disposable cameras from the late 90’s, and you have no idea what’s on them. *please don’t be mine*

My stomach actually hurts from laughing so hard at this... x.com/Claudia_Jones/…

When your 3 year old throws his hands up and shouts “woman, you’re a DISASTER!” You really get motivated to get your shit together (once you stop laughing, of course)

Callum and Gareth designed this emoji and said it was ME....not so sure about the hat choice, but YOLO.

You should be able to twist the bottom of the pringles can to bring the chips to the top like a chapstick.

“Some little girl is going to be VERY happy!” Said the old man as he pointed to the giant pink stuffed unicorn in my basket...”yes sir, I’m sure SOME little girl will be, but this is for my 3 year old son,” I laughed. “well,” he said, “ain’t nothing wrong with that!” ❤️😉🦄👦🏼

The Olsen twins look like one of them knows how you die and the other knows when you die.

Rami Malek won a Best Actor Oscar for playing Freddie Mercury of Queen. Queen's song Radio Gaga is how Oscar winner Lady Gaga got her name. Lady Gaga once wore a dress made of meat. Oscar Meyer makes meat products. Kevin Bacon.

Your belly button is just your old mouth.

Your bones are wet. Always.

I’m becoming increasingly annoyed by the fact that jet skis aren’t just called “boatercycles”

I just called this number and said “if you’re legit, tell me why I’m getting ready to roast you”

the worst thing in the world is prob starvation and the second worst is texting a speedy string of laughing emojis and inadvertently including a heart so now it looks like you’re in love with the person whose joke you were just fake laughing at

Sometimes the only solutions in life are to be chill or eat chili cheese fries, and friends, I'm I'm all out of chill.

This is THE STORY today folks: Postal worker featured by Republicans as evidence of vote tampering admits he LIED and GOP donors PAID HIM $130,000. 1. Who are the donors? 2. How was the money paid? 3. What charges are going to be filed? 4. How many other people were paid?

Trump's flurry of 'campaign defense fund' emails have fine print about retiring Trump's campaign debt news.yahoo.com/trumps-flurry-… via Yahoo

Hey, Gov. Asa Hutchinson, you forgot hypocrite in your Twitter bio...where’s your mask? Where’s the distancing?

Instagram my account has been disabled and so far, I can’t get any help in resolving this issue. I only post kids and puppies, so I’m at a loss as to why it was disabled. Please help.