If 👏 I 👏 talk 👏 like 👏 this 👏 you 👏 best 👏 know 👏 I 👏 mean 👏 business 👏 👏

With friends like these, who needs enemies

Do you think DJ Khaled just bursts into music studios Rambo style and screams his name and WE DA BEST and they just keep it on the track because they have no time to re-record? 🤔

I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

Yep.

go to NYC for New Year’s Eve: - plane ticket is $$$ - hotels are cramped and shitty - traffic sucks sit at home and play Mario Kart: - get to see the whole world - drive as fast as you want - ur mothafuckin Mario - mama mia

*Dramatic sigh* *extended eyeroll*

Hahaha

It's Friday my dudes

Mariah Carey beginning with “I don’t want a lot for Christmas” and then revealing she wants “you” is such a good burn

Gatorade is a drink for both world class athletes and hungover drunks who don’t know how they got home last night. There’s no middle ground. Nobody is drinking Gatorade because their day was fine. You either brought home the state championship or woke up in a state prison.

On a cloud, folks

If you are a famous actor and you belong to an organization that hates a certain group of people, don’t be surprised if someone simply wonders why it’s not addressed. Being anti LGBTQ is wrong, there aren’t two sides. The damage it causes is severe. Full stop. Sending love to all

Just spent 20 min reading Donald J. Trump tweets and my eyes have rolled so far back in my head I probably need an exorcism

Called Vancouver Police non emergency for some heavy stuff going on in a neighboring apt. They were here within minutes and so friendly and professional. Thanks guys.

I just lost the game.

[noah's ark] DUNG BEETLE: Oh god these cruise ships and their endless buffets, I swear I'm putting on so much weight Harold