Our friends Elon and X have been throttling our posts the past 48 hours. 👎 Retweet this if you’re seeing it and want Kamala Harris to be the next President. 👍🙏

Haggis chocolate, not gonna lie, it’s a bit weird…

Feels weird to be having a Chinese takeaway and not be watching Eurovision at the same time. But needs must..

Wanted: a child who appreciates my genius sense of humour

Strange now I’ve started doing my GSCE Coordinated Science that Lexx Education has gone from ‘Comedy Podcast’ to ‘Helpful Revision Tool’.

Twitter has limited visibility on this masterpiece by Indubitable AJ so I'm doing my bit to spread it far and wide.

Annual Reminder. We MUSLIMS are not offended by Christmas. We are NOT bothered by you celebrating Christmas. We do not MIND you saying Happy Christmas. And we even enjoy an odd Christmas song or two too. Don’t let anybody tell you we are trying to cancel your Christmas!

Well this may be interesting…

Airport trip at 0330 to drop eldest off for her skiing trip. I shall now attempt to get back to sleep 🥱

Just had to log into my dishwasher.

For shame Google Maps

I’ll give you one chance at honesty. Did you insinuate my wife was a prostitute on the Plymouth Herald comments section?

Curry’s review keeping it light

Guys I need to share this Amazon review of Veet Cream cos I don’t know who to talk to about it…

This hotel is doing family karaoke night.😫

What this restaurant needs is more screaming children

Me: I’ve never heard of Henry Godwinson 11: that’s Harold Godwinson! Being schooled by a 11 year old on his knowledge of the Battle of Stamford Bridge was not on my bingo card today.

Tee hee

Crank up the volume, we’re driving down….