Me posting dramatic shit for attention.

49....drinking white wine

sign outside a restaurant: thanks! -MGMT me: oh my god i love electric feel

not only does the government not paying its interns prevent talented young people from less fortunate backgrounds from entering into public service, it is IMMORAL for the wealthiest country in the world to exploit college students for labor!!!!

broke: being a police officer woke: being a police psychic with your childhood best friend

when john mulaney said “i’ve been zoned out since 2014” i felt that

uttered the lamest sentence of my life when i told my dad “21 is the last birthday you start being allowed to do something fun... well maybe 25 because of the whole running for congress thing”

i suddenly want to work in the white house solely for the entertainment value