One thing about me, is I'm gonna fucking steal that pen if I like it

Sometimes you just have to wear an outfit that makes no sense and move on with your day

one of the greatest songs ever written open.spotify.com/track/6aqNCrRA…

I do not laugh at the plight of "Scrat" from the Ice Age films. His terror moves me to tears.

having a type is so like…fine! u caught me

I love when a professor walks out of class to shout at noisy juniors and tell them to shut up, because I feel like doing that myself eighteen times a day but I know they'll just roll their eyes at me

how strange it is to be anything at all

My doctor has sleeve tattoos and is younger than me. But he prescribes everything I tell him to. So there’s a mutual respect

first day back in office after a 4 day weekend

i’m so over it but Why did you do that

changing from my daytime tshirt to my nighttime tshirt

this is how I text an ex like almost verbatim

cab driver has spent thirty minutes talking about how amazing the ruling party is I don’t even know enough Hindi to give him any counterpoints so I just have to say haan bhaiya

date idea: we both take melatonin at 9pm and get 10hrs of sleep

“I did not lose you, I found myself” Lmao breakups are demonic. 🤣