The mind of a 9 year old is such a wild place. 10/10- the best Valentine’s Day gift I’ve ever received.

Whenever I need a little laugh, i think back to living at 509 & none of us realizing we had a squirrel living in our fireplace until it chewed through the wall and stuck it’s head out. What a time to be alive that was.

Today one a 3rd grader looked me dead in the eye and said you’ve stopped at Starbucks ALOT lately. Maybe you should’ve given it up for Lent. I’ve never felt so attacked.

everybody: 2020 is finally going to be our year 👌🏼 3 months later:

My co worker asked if i was planning to cancel any of my upcoming trips. I’ve never seen such a look of fear/ disappointment in someone’s eyes as when I said “nah sis if i die, I die” 🛫🏝

Not to flex on you all. But I definitely had the swine flu. What are the odds I go 2 for 2 with flu pandemics?

115 google classroom notifications later and I remember why I had half of my class muted from making comments.

Sarahs immediate response to hearing amazon wouldn’t deliver anything other than necessities. “Omg do you think i have time to order dry shampoo?” Like sis, we’re in quarantine. No ones hair is clean.

unexpected plus of working from home is hearing my roommate’s work voice on her work calls like i’ve never heard her be so appropriate or tell more Karen jokes it’s amazing

How do people work from home. I wasn’t cut out for this. Help. 🆘

I’ve lost track what day of quarantine it is. But I’m so bored I listened to country music for fun today. Not even because I’m sad. Just wanted to switch It up. I’m unwell.

2020:

There’s no bigger rush on a weekday morning than knowing you mighttt be late for work but stopping for that iced coffee anyway. Miss that.

Sad that the Rona postponed my Dominican trip. But honestly today showed I can a horrific sunburn anywhere on Earth. 🌎

I literally got attacked by a bird the other day and now IG targeted ads are “birds aren’t real” shirts. Like 2020 you’re proving to be a REAL bitch.

When a child announcesto the room “ I think I have a fever”

“Hope this email finds you well” where the email finds me:

I’ve really been “I just need to get through this week”ing for two years straight

every single week