but not me right

lucas? toothbrush? now i know you're just saying shit.

he spits his fucking piss-coloured Listerine right into my plants on the days he doesn't swallow it

what? no way. ......... but i can give you the number of someone who can.

not anymore, did you not just hear me? the btch robbed me

UGH WHAT THE FUCK /pulls out his phone 😤

more what? ipads? i mean yeah, but im still pissed about it

hungey 4 breakfast

well, well, well, if it isn't the mos- HEY WHAT THE FUCK?! WHO BROKE MY BRAND FUCKING NEW MARBLE BUST???

IT WAS A DIRECT CAST ...with clever contouring... but nonetheless, it was GORGEOUS and i'm going to throw you out the door

who the fuck grew this weed it tastes like horse food

Lucas bought me a stuffed cow because it "reminded him of me". A fucking COW.

why the fuck do i keep seeing this same tweet everywhere???