“One of the world’s second longest”? Well which is it? First or second? Why would you phrase it like that?

yes absolutely

how do i make my siri have Lisa Vanderpumps voice

what if my dog look at the sun will he be blind

Sam ran a half marathon today which is like a whole thing and whatever but i held her bag the WHOLE time and she had hella shit in it so why didn’t i get a medal ??

dont tell sam but i simply do not know what “hot to go” means

My original plan was to get absolutely bronzed this summer, but i hadn’t even considered the other much better option. Im gonna get so ghastly pale. I want the world’s top scientists to be perplexed by the way light reacts with my freak skin. I wan’t to scare kids.

went to the doctor and he didnt even try to see my teener ? am i ugly ,?

birds with hair, dog feathers, turtle (reversed), all of this can be yours. unlimited potential. sprinting .

if you keep losing more and more weight will your body start burning pp meat?

Just ate an amount of chinese food that would scare god. I’d show you but i ate it.

why they walk like they got a shid in their robo butt

You know how a baby cant understand an adult? Could a puppy understand a adult dog? idk

you’ve heard of Luigi the Healthcare Shooter, now get ready for the Bushwick Bottler (me throwing a high life at Andrew Cuomo when I see him walking the PR parade)