every time I walk into a bar bathroom with the toilet seat up I pray to god to give that man testicular cancer <3

what happened to the lead singer of indie bands not playing instruments? I want my hot lead indie singer to just be a man singing. actually, I want him to not be able to read at all

spent one night in the catskills and i’m already on zillow. see yall city folk later im a god damn mountain bitch

I bought my cat (who was abandoned at the NYPD and delivered to me in the back of a van like a convicted felon) a $700 litter box

why are you a quarterback and ugly?

i love saying “EOD” in an email it’s so cunty

you’ve heard of Luigi the Healthcare Shooter, now get ready for the Bushwick Bottler (me throwing a high life at Andrew Cuomo when I see him walking the PR parade)

astonishing number of performative readers out in bushwick today

I think Gavin Newsom’s hatred for Trump has finally surpassed his hatred for homeless people

he was not an influential voice he was a rage-baiting bigot who incited the exact violence that he received

forever and always, fuck the yankees

hopecore 💖

this is what my leftist bushwick apartment constantly looks like but with much cuter shoes

you’re racist! that’s why. you are literally just racist

“don’t joke about killing yourself” oh, sorry, did you want me to actually kill myself?