Twitter’s like a plate of nachos: a fun app with friends that starts out great, eventually gets kinda gross & when its about to be taken away you think ‘I don’t wanna pay $8 for this”

Handjob while driving = Car jacking

Social media is like looking in the fridge over & over. You know there's nothing good but you check it so many times that eventually you start consuming things you don't even like

How old were you when you first noticed the "8" in the middle of the 8 of diamonds card?