Am I... Velma then? Wait. I don't like this.

Matt: Fuck, I forgot to bring condom. Ryan: Matt! We're going to my fucking parents! Matt: I know... It's just- Better safe than sorry, right? Ryan: ...You know what? I respect that, dude. I'll stop at the next pharmacy.

Rʏᴀɴ Mᴀɢʜᴏsᴛ 🔪 [H]? More like Whopper extremely huge dick. Got 'eem.

Hahaha more like @WhopperExtremelyScarringContent. Amirite?

What if I told you... I am the police?

Woah. Dude. With, like, handcuffs? That crosses a line. @WhopperExtremelyVanilla.

Thanks. That's really nice. I like those positive vibes.

Well you know what they say about rules... following them gets you all the puss.

Ryan meeting Matt's mom for the first time. Ryan: Sup bitch, I'm Ryan. Matt: DUDE! Ryan: Oh, sorry. ... Ryan: Sup Mrs Bitch, I'm Ryan

S m o o c h —

Big Daddy and his Skeleton Baby (2018)

things i owe matt: – not a blowjob

qt 💕

❝ Iᴛ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ᴀɴ ʜᴏɴᴏʀ ᴛᴏ ᴇᴠᴏʟᴠᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ. ❞ the 🅖🅞🅓 of technology. ultimate hypebeast. worshipped by all. death to the old gods. ⋆ Literate & Descriptive. ⋆ Crossovers Welcomed. ⋆ Ships w/ Chem. #MarvelRP - #MythRP

drunk. on that good puss. got'eem.

I take this back. Matt is NOT god. I repeat, Matt is NOT GOD.

‘Christian Moms Against Supermega’ is going to be pissed.