Felt the sun and immediately felt great, I’m literally a flower

No one has ever thought of this before, so thank you for your profound advice.

Sorry I’m late. I was trying to open one of those plastic bags in the produce section at the grocery store.

Airport security just asked if I’m under 18

“When did I want dreads? I think in college” Bob Jordan’s wife

Not to flex on the TL but I had no tummy troubles this weekend #win #growth

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, size ordered or a picture of them wearing it are going to heaven.

Forgot I found more decor for baby Kramer’s nursery Becky Kramer Bobby Kramer

“Sometimes I feel like Lenny”

There’s no better feeling than coming home and immediately changing into your Adam Sandler fit

When I die, please cover my casket in my sticker collection that I bought but could never commit to applying on things

i think it’s so beautiful that, for me, the cvs drive thru takes 45 seconds, and yet, for everyone in front of me, many minutes

and for the lady, perhaps a deep cleaned house, cancelled plans, a new series to watch, and zero human interaction?

Alexa play Home Sweet by Russell Dickerson Bob Jordan

“Whale breath smells like a bag of dog shit”