Publish your novel using the WRITE method: W - write a novel R - revise the novel I - interest agent with a query letter T - take best offer when book goes to auction E - enjoy winning various awards

they should make lysol flavored vape

pope leo shaking ass to dorian electra adam & steve in his gold plated bathroom while his house staff weep

omg

You can be my Black Lena Dunham tonight

Sometimes you didn’t even know if that drawing of Simba’s mom you were downloading was going to be sexy or not until minutes later

i love being the token tranny in a group chat full of gay girls and farming them for attention. cís girl brains are so simple

Relationship Of Command Saenz, you were named after the bravest wizard i knew

someday i want to inherit the Michael Crichton Dan Brown position of publishing thrillers that are just an excuse for infodumping about whatever special interest took over at the time… but for now i gotta finish this novel about being gay and homeless and really gay and slutty

-oh mighty god! I have slaughtered this cow in your name, to honor you! -ah, cow again! good. love it. why mess with the classics? thanks. thank you. [looking at fingernails] apparently in south america they’re doing *people*. but you sort of had this cow, like, spare? extra cow?

popped a boner im ngl

I met my wife in the hypercube from Cube 2: Hypercube

hold on hold on hold on. (i don’t go here) hold on. so this person was arguing that wiley noah should’ve been doing not-magic tricks for a buncha 30 y/os????? what the fuck do they put in this show

i’m always covering up my hyperpigmentation but some days when i don’t have time to do a proper face or, like today that i forgot my makeup bag when i went to work—it’s really convenient that God gave me natural eyeshadow

“in a world full of skincare girlies who do their 27 step routine every day, it’s nice to know there are REAL WOMEN out there who still just sleep in their makeup”

The junk food industry reverse-engineered your ancestral cravings and sold them back to you as candy. You crave Snakes. So they made Snake-shaped sugar.

they're gonna have to do this with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon one day