I'm heading to the strip clubs after dinner.

Is it clear why I drink so much now?

I know what I said.

Tiramisu in the cafeteria.

Mom called and asked what I wanted for Christmas. I said a baddie on my face. She’s sending a gift card for Amazon.

These kids are going to kill me.

I have had entirely too much alcohol this weekend.

Bench list. BENCH list.

Now that one of the worst days of the year is outta the way, let's move onto the next shitty day of the year.

My favorite is getting married and I'm burning out magic wands.

Very.

Time to crack open some of this Christmas liquor.

I might be dying. Someone feed my dog.

Sending the whole contact list the bitties.

Hungover and reporting for duty.

I’m getting drunk now.

Who cares about a hangover? Happy New Year.

You have to be kidding me.

So... I'm just going to order food for you heathens tonight. I'm gonna be too busy crying.