A little shoutout to my illegitimate bastard kid, Cleetus Steinberg, keep on rocking!🤘🤘 I know you get bullied at school but maybe stop corking yo shit in the school bathroom Gurr Gulmanutsack

The lowa City West football team was seen skipping practice today to attend an 'election result riot' ⁉️ Sources are telling me that QB Jack Wallace split off from the protest and proceeded to raid 'Romantix' and "bankrupt them up their penetrative sex toys" Speechless 😶

Top of the mornin. Hitting my first goon of the day. Hope yall stay up and stay blessed!

Who else is fapping their boner right now

Gurr’s Crystal ball🔮 20%- Iowa School of the Deaf and Blind 30%- Bubba Gump Shrimp Academy 5%- Mental Asylum 15%- Bama 15%- Kent State 5%- St. Thomas (with ‘Cap’ and T-Bone) 10%- Alburtus Magnus (recently offered by Gervon John Dexter ) Where will Lieutenant Dan land?

UPDATE TO Lieutenant Dan ‘s CRYSTAL BALL 🔮: Albretus Magnus has fallen to a 1% chance at landing Lieutenant following an ableist post by HC Gervon John Dexter regarding Lt. Dan. Kent State has picked up on the lost odds from this incident, and is now the front runner.

I WOULD LIKE TO OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCE THAT WE AT THE IOWA SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF AND BLIND IS EXTENDING AN OFFICIAL OFFER TO Lieutenant Dan 🚨🚨‼️‼️

Today marks the day I change. I am no longer a hateful man. Only love. I’m sorry to anyone I’ve wronged, but I vow to never act that way again. -G.G. ❤️ ☮️

Unfortunately, me and Ms. Gulmanutsack will be getting a divorce. While I have put in work on myself and fixed my imperfections, she has remained mediocre. Please, don’t send any negativity her way, as this is still a sore subject. Ladies- I’m on the market! #single #holla

I don’t want to exist anymore.

Another day of living. FML 🤦‍♂️.

When shawty slurpin yo shit OD nicely so u say chill but she just keep going and you bussa fat one on ha forehead @jawkwashington

This is the worst day of my life

POV: your mom asked if the dishes are washed. The dishes:

Fuck me. I was in the Cougs student section tonight, and I was doing some bird watching. Unfortunately, all CF bitches are either fat, have Down syndrome, or are fat and have Down syndrome. Justin Powell Hates brown people. #FML #GoCougars! Joseph Jizz

Hey Danica Olson you’re taking up the whole front row. Move the fuck back or get the fuck out of here nobody wants you here