how good is Seattle's pitching?

the Mariners hit .175/.232/.358 with a 35% strikeout rate over the last week and went 5-2

Here we go again

Jen Mueller said on postgame that the team stood quietly in the dugout processing the loss for a couple of minutes after the game concluded. The players know vibes are bad and they don’t need mediocre guys on twitter in their mentions telling them so, you absolute donuts

Hahahahaha! This is wonderful!

In one ear, Christopher Crawford hosting the noon show on 93.3 KJR, in the other, the sweet velvety voice of Rick Rizzs. It's a sweet and salty brain candy afternoon.

RIP to everyone killed by the gods for their hubris but im different. and better. maybe even better than the gods

How to beat the Mariners in 4 simple steps:
1) When pitching: Spin!
2) When hitting: Don't swing at the edges - Mariners pitchers will always throw strikes.
3) Do not DO NOT walk JP.
4) Quality of contact is less important than putting the ball in play. Make them get you out.

[consoling a friend after a breakup]

HIM: I won’t find anyone as good as her

ME (just finished watching Moneyball): we’ll recreate her in the aggregate

The thing about these Brewers is they can really SPIN IT

The chaotic evil solution is to give the player the home run ball, but sign it yourself first

I think it’s incredible that folks are watching the ‘24 Mariners, nine years into the current FO, and feel like there’s any form of a plan or future here. A near-decade of just incredible mediocrity when the playoff field keeps expanding.

The Mariners are like a movie playing on a TV in a different movie

WOW. Diamondbacks won't be on the top of any Forbes lists soon SMH

Men’s month again 😢