Dear Sir; my team & my animals are stuck at airport circle. We have a flight waiting. Can you please facilitate safe passage into the airport for our convoy? Suhail Shaheen. محمد سهیل شاهین We are an NGO who will come back to Afghanistan but right now I want to get everyone out safely. 🙏🏼

These Tory Ministers look incredibly hungover don't they?

If you think these lies are bad, wait until you hear about Brexit.

Plan C this morning? Rupert Murdoch is having a laugh.

Dear @UK. This was Steve’s banner before it was taken away by the Metropolitan Police

Totally feeling you, Saturday morning vibe around here. She is ridonkulous. #Caturday #zzzzz

I won’t put the whole story on here because you should go out and buy a copy of Private Eye but this is jaw-dropping stuff. £600m of Government money paid to a private company for PPE is simply ‘missing’.

Rishi Sunak tells MPs it is impossible to “artificially” hold down energy prices. In other news, Shell today announced their profits have increased by fourteen-fold and they plan to hand $8.5 billion back to shareholders.

So, the wasted 37bn on a failed track and trace service but they knowingly allowed a woman to be imprisoned and separated from her baby (and husband) for 6 years for the sake of £400m? (I know there are others who are detained which makes it worse) Of course that all makes sense

We are now working with 70 out of the 100 people that the Government have sent ‘Notices of Intent‘ saying that they will be sent to Rwanda. A 🧵on the situation:

Wow- it's got to be terminal for Johnson if Mr Norman has had enough. As your constituent, I thank you because his lack of leadership is damaging for us all.

Quite a sight in Parliament. Nadine Dorries is hysterical and attacking colleagues. Jacob Rees-Mogg is trying to calm her down and has poured her a whisky in the tea room repeating the words “Que Sera, Sera.” I’m in the corner with a glass of champagne trying not to laugh.

Breaking: European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg grants rule 39 request to stop the flight to Rwanda from leaving. Basis: real risk of inhuman and degrading treatment (Art. 3 ECHR). Please share - government must comply.

Whilst we are all being distracted... Rees-Mogg move to axe 2,400 laws is ‘anti-democratic’, say legal experts theguardian.com/law/2022/oct/2…

WATCH AND SHARE Urgent message to the new Government: don't revive your plans to remove our human rights #RightsRemovalBill

ON CUNNILINGUS, ENVY, AND OTHER MATTERS As my more discerning readers will already have noticed, I am - after the incident involving the fish - now more intimate with the Heimlich manoeuvre than I am with cunnilingus.