Missed the Greta show tonight. It is okay though, because I just dressed the woodland critters up in leather straps. Not strap-ons.

Recently signed a contract with a Hollywood hotshot. Guess who and win yourself one acre of land, on me. Literally, you'll be on me.

RT the last message. Winner will be selected by 8pm tonight!

Plenty of arid land still available. Inquire within.

Less minors drinking in the park these days. Winter seems to be the best time for park sex. #parkandride

Missing those cherry blossoms. You do not know what you have lost until it is gone.

High Park is having a winterlicious competition. Please RT: Friend High to win a meal at the park on some bark!

Jay Reatard once did coke in the park, so his death is not really a shock.

Tip: Yoga in the park is a great idea. You can really perfect the Downward Facing Dog position with actual dog shit on your face.

Come toboganning down our lovely hills! Try not to slide into Grenadier Pond--we won't save you.

@tweetittoronto I don't know much about online marketing, but have you considered our Park It Forward program?

@oytamarind Sometimes people find the alphabet confusing. On the other hand, nothing confusing about our Summer harvest festival on Mon.

@tweetittoronto Down with digital, up with foliage? Not yet, but soon.

Lindsday Lohan has named Toronto's High Park as her favourite spot to blow bubbles (among other things) during the warm summer months.

Trinity Bellwoods is the lesser man's High Park. You heard it here first.

@oytamarind Social Media will collapse. You heard it from High Park first.

@briandstdenis Try getting lost in High Park. Some check in, but they don't check out. We spoil our guests, so it is really hard to leave.

I am not sure if you have seen an owl gracefully perch on a snow covered branch, but we get them a lot here and they won't leave.