[consoling a friend after a breakup]

HIM: I won’t find anyone as good as her

ME (just finished watching Moneyball): we’ll recreate her in the aggregate

Wow, what a moment… 👏👏

Leeds fans turn to clap the banner behind them in memory of Christopher Loftus and Kevin Speight, who were stabbed to death in Turkey in 2000.

What’s funny about people getting upset Easter Sunday has to share its date with other things is that if they’d felt the same way last year, when Easter fell on April 9th, they’d have had to be angry it was Winston Churchill Day.

Penalties are the exciting part of football for people who don’t really like watching football

I invented talking to my girlfriend. We both have to get hammered though or it doesn’t work

'King Charles shouldn't be blamed for things his ancestors did.'

The Irish response when the King visited Ireland in 1911.

40 IQ: “Get the ball, put it in the net 🍻”

120 IQ: “Half-Spaces, Mezzalas, Inverted FBs”

200 IQ: “Get the ball, put it in the net”

When he was young, The Life of Brian was banned, A Clockwork Orange was taken out of circulation, films had content certificates, TV had a watershed, and the voices of Sinn Fein politicians were replaced with actors when the BBC reported on Northern Ireland.

What happened to game I loved? What the fuck is any of this nerd shit?

If a player got injured during a World Cup or Euros and left the camp because they thought they would receive better treatment with their club nobody would bat an eye.

This is completely absurd for several reasons but I think the biggest question it raises is why is he pleading poverty for his mum when he’s bringing in £4.5 million a year? Reckon you could at least cover her gas and leccy for her with that.

UK/Europe vs USA debates are the worst trend this websites shits out on a frequent basis. Every time it boils down to the most boring people you could ever meet arguing about who likes spicy food more.

GK Rob Green
RB Luke Ayling
CB Ben White
CB Pontus Jansson
LB Ezgjan Alioski
RM Raphinha
CM Kalvin Phillips
CM Pablo Hernandez
LM Samu Saiz
CF Ross McCormack
ST Chris Wood

Goosebumps.

Honestly sometimes you think you’ve seen the absolute pits of political discourse this country can offer and then some vile ghoul like Suella comes along with a phrase like ‘living on the streets as a life style choice’ to cheerfully remind you the pit is bottomless.

I want Patrick Bamford to be good more than I have ever wanted anything else from football and every time I watch him he lets me down. I feel like my own dad watching me play, unimaginably disappointed and equally horrified that I’m stuck wanting him to succeed forever.

I always think about how we learned about Hiroshima and Nagasaki as these unavoidable and moral acts without grappling with the sheer amount of innocent people we vaporized. I think that’s why so many people are comfortable with talking about leveling states