A dating app that matches people who want to binge the same shows together and cuddle.

The band Queen creating a dating profile

Username
Mr. Fahrenheit

Bio
Just a poor boy from a poor family

Occupation
sex machine ready to reload

Seeking
fat bottomed girls

Dislikes
- When people stone me & spit in my eye
- Biting dust

Likes
stomp stomp clap

I need that coke necklace from Cruel Intentions, but mine is filled with MSG.

Yeah, well, I’m kind of like the bad boy of the HR department.

This film Miller’s Girl on Netflix is so good!
They’re almost doing for Henry Miller here what they did last year for Poe with Fall of the House of Usher.

I saw an ad for an erectile dysfunction drug that showed a guy leading two horses into a trailer. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THAT TRAILER?

BLAIRE WHITE It started out with a kiss. How did it end up like this? 👀

My wife's just sitting here eating chips and spicy salsa at 9 pm like she's young or something.

It’s been a bad day, but it’s still a good life.

She's got legs and knows how to use them but her arms just hang there like sausages

going to TJ Maxx. does anyone need any new clothes and/or gourmet pasta shells?

remember in old shows when the bad guy would fire all of his rounds, and then throw the gun in frustration at his intended target?

Maryland is shaped like if you squashed a silverfish in a road atlas. More Maryland facts as I get them.

What’s the matter, beautiful? Times are hard? You’re afraid to pay the fee?

Joined my neighborhood co-op so I would have 1 more thing that made me leave the house each week.

All right, what are we doing for dinner tonight? Popcorn shrimp and fries?

I just dropped $12 at Taco Bell just for me. When I was in college $12 worth of Taco Bell would feed everyone you knew.