Steve Harley, Cockney Rebel and 'Make Me Smile' Singer, Dead at 73

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You’re NOT lazy.

You’re exhausted AF from being in a constant state of stress. -Dr. Jen

💜 I’m having a lot of somatic pain and memories recently 💜

When a child is being raped terrorised abused as a tiny, throughout a ‘childhood’ you loose the world and the world looses you - gone
The child isn’t ‘resilient’ Its traumatised
Fragmenting
‘Mute’ isn’t resilient its trauma

Traumatised is normal #CSA #CSE

Nobody gets to decide how your trauma, abuse should affect you.
Nobody gets to decide if you should or shouldn’t forgive.
Nobody gets to decide how angry you should or shouldn’t be.
And nobody gets to decide when you should or shouldn’t be over it.
#Nobody

Sometimes the ‘crazy’ person who looks like they are trashing a nice person is really the victim telling the truth about a dangerous abuser.

Read that as many times as it takes.

Survivors of complex trauma know the specific mind f*ck of an abuser or bully using threatening language or a threatening tone, but not making an actual threat-- which can leave us at a loss when trying to explain to someone why we're having a reaction to it or why we need help.

Trauma survivors are often in this sh*tty bind where we struggle to meaningfully connect w/ people who don't know our story-- but at the same time our story feels overwhelming (or embarrassing, or impossible) to try to explain.

So. We don't.

You are not f*cked up for having a strong, complicated reaction to a f*cked up situation.

Abused children go on to look for the abuse they have suffered in other relationships because that’s all they have known.
They believe the lies they are told.
In the hope that 1 day someone will love them.
That’s all they are searching for is ❤️
Some escape the chaos, but not all

Grocery stores & shopping can be uniquely triggering for many trauma survivors. Lots of people; lots of sensory stimulation; lots of decisions; lots of thinking about budgets & nutrition; then add on top the constant mental refrain of 'you weirdo, this shouldn't be this hard.'

💜

When someone says
“Your trauma made you stronger”

It absolutely did not:
It did however make me mentally & emotionally unstable…
It caused me to not trust people, it caused damage that will last a life time.
Caused huge relationships problems.
That’s just the tip of the iceberg

'Choices' we made when we didn't have safe or realistic options, or there was a meaningful power differential involved, aren't real 'choices.'

Forgiving ourselves for 'choices' that weren't real choices can be complicated-- but to me it's a ground floor trauma recovery task.

When we were kids, & we were getting abused, bullied, &/or neglected, we often learned to carry around secrets. We had to. We couldn't let anyone see the sh*t show, right?

Fast forward to now-- maybe it makes sense we'd be VERY selective about who we let in & what we let show.

💜

I guarantee you encounter trauma survivors every day who are walking around & 'functioning' w/ physical limitations and/or pain that would leave 90% of humans flat on their backs-- but who've learned to 'present well' (and/or dissociate), so nobody suspects.

💜 Absolutely right. WE can freeze the memories too! 💜
#trauma #trauma healing #trauma recovery #cptsd

Dissociation can feel like floating out of or above your body-- then being slammed right back into it.

Time seeming to stand still-- then losing hours (or days, or weeks) w/o your awareness.

It's so surreal, survivors often keep it to themselves.

We're, uh, 'fine.' Yeah.

16 Hidden Habits of People Who Experienced Child Abuse
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