One of the more bizarre things about the victim-blamey side of therapist twt is how they always act as though they're saying these bold and unpopular truths that 'most people aren't willing to say,' despite the fact that victim blaming is in fact the dominant societal narrative.

Fake or superficial conversations can be a major trigger for trauma survivors.

Trauma survivors in particular feel the need for real connection, real authenticity— & we have a sixth sense for detecting glib, superficial, or manipulative interactions.

At first, your coping skills are gonna be rough, you’re gonna doubt your ability to meaningfully recover, your brain is gonna give you ALL sorts of reasons why this “recovery” nonsense isn’t worth the effort.

Been there.

Stick with it.

I want to see more trauma survivors become therapists, & feel professionally safe & supported enough to be open about their lived experience if they choose. I will ALWAYS err on the side of validating the enormous value lived experience adds to professional training.

Self-acceptance doesn’t mean we’re thrilled with how we look or how we perform at all times.

It means we will NOT reject or abandon ourselves based on how we happen to look or perform on any given day.

It means we are safe with ourselves— no matter what.

I can’t change the past and I can’t directly control the future.

All I can do is what I can do in this minute. This one. Right here. Right now.

So that’s what I’m gonna do.

That’s all you have to do, too.

Spoiler: realistic trauma recovery is gonna take time. It’s gonna take patience. It’s gonna take compassion.

But we CAN realistically change any pattern-- including the trauma conditioning that's been running & ruining our lives-- w/ enough consistency.

I've seen it happen.

Our entire future doesn’t have to be about mourning the past.

But what needs to be mourned, really does need to be mourned— and there’s no rushing or skipping it.

Easy does it. Breathe; blink; focus.

Truly though, I had a lot of fun in our conversation today; thanks again Jean Brown *jbBeans8 on the sewing app* & Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle for having me on the Tortured Therapist Department Podc-- er, I mean, the SEEK Safely podcast!

Surprising no one, Jean Brown *jbBeans8 on the sewing app*'s & my interview w/ The Caffeinated Therapist 🐝 for the SEEK Safely podcast today began, ended, & often returned to the subject of Taylor Swift's new album. I know more about Taylor than any other 47 year old white guy. I am Swiftie adjacent at all times.

I have no research backing this up, but anecdotally I can tell you swaths of trauma survivors struggle w/ chronic tinnitus (ringing or rushing in the ears)-- & I just don't believe that's a coincidence.

A trick depression, anxiety, addiction, trauma, and eating disorders like to play on us is, convincing us that we have to do ALL of this OVERWHELMING stuff in order to recover.

We don’t.

We have to deal with this minute. This one. Right here, right now.

Trauma survivors often feel emotions & physical sensations that we don’t understand, that seem to make no sense.

Using substances & engaging in behaviors that offer predictable changes in how we feel might offer survivors at least a little bit of a break from the chaos within.

You bet trauma survivors are especially vulnerable to substances and behaviors of addiction-- but it usually has nothing to do with seeking pleasure.

It often has to do w/ seeking to avoid or numb feelings & memories that can be overwhelming, painful— & VERY hard to manage.

it’s not actually too late for things to be different

Surprising no one, Jean Brown *jbBeans8 on the sewing app*'s & my interview w/ The Caffeinated Therapist 🐝 for the SEEK Safely podcast today began, ended, & often returned to the subject of Taylor Swift's new album. I know more about Taylor than any other 47 year old white guy. I am Swiftie adjacent at all times.

Our entire future doesn’t have to be about mourning the past.

But what needs to be mourned, really does need to be mourned— and there’s no rushing or skipping it.

Easy does it. Breathe; blink; focus.

Spoiler: realistic trauma recovery is gonna take time. It’s gonna take patience. It’s gonna take compassion.

But we CAN realistically change any pattern-- including the trauma conditioning that's been running & ruining our lives-- w/ enough consistency.

I've seen it happen.

Our worth is not dependent on how helpful or useful we are.

Our value is not dependent upon how funny or smart someone finds us.

Our lovability is not determined by how sexually attractive we are or aren’t to someone— or anyone.

Turns out we don’t just make a decision & suddenly think, believe, feel, & act differently.

We’re entrenched in these patterns for reasons.

Usually we have to make little changes, little nudges-- take baby steps to interrupt our patterns just a little bit at a time.