I’ve written a joke. I’m very pleased with it. Did the Pleistocene epoch have anything like an elephant? Mastodon! (Said like “must’ve done!”. That’s very important. Otherwise it’s just an answer to the question.)

Yesterday, The Princess Royal visited Bullingdon Prison to mark #HiddenHeroesDay, which celebrates those working in prisons and within the justice system. HRH is Patron of Butler Trust, a charity dedicated to recognising outstanding practice by those working with offenders.

Our online #wijlitfest event this Tuesday October 6th with Eve Pollard and Julie Welch will be one you don't want to miss! Book now as Julie speaks to Eve about the female journalists who broke down barriers in the 1970s and 1980s in Fleet Street eventbrite.co.uk/e/oct-6-fleet-…

Julie Welch Women in Journalism Eve Pollard I just need to get my hands on the book now, definitely an autumnal read I need

Claudia: "There's something about your forties... you know the things that make you happy, your friends happy, your husband, your kids, your parents... so you do those. You're honest and less worried about the other stuff."

The

WATCH: Douglas Murray talks to Andrew Neil about the shy Trump voters he's spoken to in recent weeks. Watch the full interview on #SpectatorTV: youtu.be/AiQHB4PqCBE Douglas Murray | Andrew Neil

😂😂

Harvey Ottman was evacuated to the Leeson family in Blackpool. "I used to cry a lot at night, I used to go to the room & just cry because I wanted to keep Shabbat & they didn’t know what that was all about. To ease the pain they bought me a pair of roller skates…" 1/6

BOOM! Brilliant news. 👏👏👏

Huge honour to be part of ⁦Jeremy, Storm & Vanessa On 5⁩ show this morning talking the big stories of the day with fellow former Fleet Steet editor ⁦Eve Pollard⁩. And of course ⁦Jeremy Vine | Here, on Tiktok, Insta & Facebook⁩ ⁦Storm Huntley⁩. Catch up MyFive⁦My5⁩ #PrincePhilip #Pubsopening

It's two-jabs Gyles! I've had my 2nd dose: I'm pfizzing with Pfizer & admiration for all the NHS professionals & volunteers who have delivered the vaccination programme with such efficiency & good humour. Brilliant. I'm off to the shops: musicglue.com/gyles-brandret…

When you’re interviewing a Hollywood A-lister on Zoom and suddenly your dog starts throwing up and you just both sit there listening to that awful noise until it’s done. Oh my god.

And just when the world needs comedy & a good laugh more than anything else. 😔#Oscars

Please read this

Looking forward to appearing on the Jeremy Vine | Here, on Tiktok, Insta & Facebook programme tomorrow