why does noel edmonds always look as if he’s in the middle of coordinating a mainland terrorist atrocity

Ian Hislop in ⁦Private Eye Magazine⁩ on his encounter with the unrepentant Justin Welby

People who went to Oxford will be like, “this cold weather reminds me of Oxford, where I attended the University of Oxford, as a member of the University of Oxford”

Reading one (1) news article on a regional news website.

UPDATE: Gregg Wallace looks like a dog sexually harassing a trifle through a fence.

AND HENCE IT APPROACHETH… our brand new Friday Night Comedy with Andrew Hunter Murray and Amy Hoggart. #TheNakedWeek starts BBC Radio 4 at 6.30pm! Jokes, stuff, messing around, jokes, and some actual investigative journalism (but with jokes in it.) bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00…

Dreamt about a sequel to Sophie’s Choice set in south central LA in which Sophie teams up with a rapper-lawyer called “U-Chooz”. Devastating. Woke at 4 and wrote down the title

[YOGURT BOARDROOM] Bob: so we all got the memo that the public is uncomfortable with our use of the word “udder” and we’ll be removing it from packaging with immediate effect, right? Jeb: (through mouthful of udders) what

Craig Revel Horwood’s transformation into an occult bookshop owner in an Amicus portmanteau appears to be entering its imperial phase.

Sarah Dempster Craig Revel Horcrux

Tonight, as you're tucking into a calendar and waiting for Father Time to rub his clock on your roof, why not treat yourself to one of Radio 4's stupider seasonal emanations (worded by Jon Holmes, Sarah Dempster and me). #Hoot #WeForcedABotToWriteThisShow bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0…

Remarkable how many cuts of meat sound like veteran news anchors facing multiple accusations of workplace harassment: Chuck Brisket Rib Silverside Rump Foreshank Plate Centreloin Flank Saddleback

stormzy clears things up

Imagine the party the conclave boys are going to throw tonight

As I enter my late middle years I find myself thinking more about the nature of forgiveness, and how much more positive it would be if, rather than endlessly & desperately parroting the far-right, Starmer were simply to be trampled by geese while rollerblading in the Dordogne.

Happy 10th birthday to this terrible thing x

“MAGAmemnon”. Incredible.

I’ve written something about Noel Edmonds theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/2…