This is literally the funniest thing I have seen in 2 years

I think it's time I tweet, we are going to win the world cup

1 ticket to Parcels at SWG3 - Glasgow, 28 Sep, face value (plus fees). Buy & sell with protection: twickets.live/block/41700696…

just off the phone with the silly goose festival, they want you to headline.

NYC rat count: 17

2023 is the year finger guns return 👈

🚨🚨🚨 JUST ANNOUNCED: The Scottish Government has completely abandoned its plans to cut funding for Creative Scotland, after more than 15,000 people signed our urgent petition to #StopTheCuts. 🎉🎉🎉

Shania Twain "the rock" Johnson

laugh at my joke

isn't it a bit suspicious that lambs just appear every year at the same time??

Some good Sunday audio for you 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

WHAT'S GERMAN FOR PIZZA CRUNCH

Peekaboo culture is so toxic. This dude just straight up disappeared behind his hands mid conversation and then shows up again like it’s no big deal? And yeah I’m giggling and it’s funny as fuck. But that does NOT make this kind of behavior okay

𝗔𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀, 𝗶𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗯𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝘁. Check in on those around you. #WorldMentalHealthDay | #YouAreNotAlone | Samaritans

For anyone still “standing with Israel” or trying to inject false nuance into the Israeli genocide of Palestine, this thread is for you. These are the things you won’t be shown on the western news. Look at them now. It’s not too late to adjust your perspective.

How can calling for a ceasefire be controversial? It’s literally asking people killing civilians to stop. You can ignore the calls, disagree with them or try to explain why the killing ‘must’ continue, but trying to silence calls to end this carnage goes against all our values.

As if my excitement for the game wasn't through the roof already, a man just cycled past me with a capybara in his bike basket, got to be a good sign? 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

🤫 #SCOSWI | #EURO2024

Ah it’s good, it’s very good. Manchester United x adidas Football x Barry Keoghan.

OMG this is the best ever speaking James O'Brien ever made. He says what happens in Gaza is 17,000,000 times worse than what happened in Glastonbury