SF can still win the Super Bowl If Mike Pence does the right thing !!!

The real measure of success is how well you’ve disguised pajamas as street wear.

A man in Oklahoma has been formally exonerated by a judge for a murder he didn't commit after spending 48 years in prison. This is the longest known wrongful sentence in the US. Glynn Simmons, 71, is only eligible for $175k in compensation from Oklahoma, and it may take years.…

Holy cow. A student directly confronted a founder of Moms for Liberty for getting involved in a threesome after attacking his “sexual immorality” as a member of the LGBTQ+ community. THIS is why we love Gen Z. He made her find out bad. So freaking good.

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

hold me tight, like i’m a fart on a first date

Found the destination for our next family trip

Before you balk at a post, say, 'Well, I never!' aloud, belly up to the keyboard and slam out 'Not all men!' take a breath. Consider it may be a trap.

QT with the oldest picture of you on your phone.

Well that’s a BARGAIN!

chief of staff: Mr. President, Henry Kissinger has passed.

joe biden [ munching block of Kerrygold butter ]: hot damn. we do that?

Y’know, that’s like Fortytwopence in Dog None the Richer.

that’s true. I can’t tell you how often I can’t spend time with my pregnant wife and crying children cuz I gotta prioritize my 3 kinds of onions

Pretty embarrassing night all around for the ESPN+ graphics people. This is what they’re showing moments after an amazing 2-1 victory by Cornell Men’s Ice Hockey. #LetsGoRed #YellCornell

I asked my husband where he bought those cute little ice packs I’ve been using in the kids lunches and yep they’re from his vasectomy

Definitely the future of television I had in mind was me having to google every movie I want to watch to see if it’s currently in one of its one-month windows on any of the seven streaming services I pay for. This is way easier than buying a DVD. I love it.

“I can’t imagine living in an ancient society governed by mysterious rituals,” I say, as I set all of my digital clocks an hour behind because a bug scientist 150 years ago wanted to save money on candles

Heard there was a sale on sneakers and vibrators and everyone came running