Just another normal day after school

forgot to step off at the top of the escalator and now I'm in the upside-down

it was just something special about her..

After thorough research, I can confirm that my kids enjoy fighting over what game to play more than playing an actual game

I really want to go beyond this door.

Not many people know this but birds will start turning back into dinosaurs soon.

🥀

I just want to be rich enough where I never have to be seen in public again.

Don't make me Another story Make me the forever.

Call me back in an hour. I’m starting a new roll of cling wrap.

Can’t. Measuring the oven with my head.

Of course I've heard all the stories about me, who do you think made them up?

Opening up Twitter is like entering a bouncy house full of feral children.

I stopped looking in the mirror long ago. I know what’s there.

What a way to start the season! Proud of our women’s team with their 5-0 win!

Periques! Estic molt agraït per la vostra càlida benvinguda i és un honor ser part del 125è aniversari d'aquest gran club. Victòria 1-0 contra l'Elx CF que va servir per arrencar la gran festa de celebració a la Fan Zone, que va posar el punt final a una tarda meravellosa.

A huge ‘well done!’ to Scott and the team for their grit and determination in our last-minute winner against Wolves this afternoon. The away support was incredible today! Let’s keep this momentum going, Clarets!

So who’s in charge of Twitter today? I missed registration

What an interesting story Now can we talk about something that’s got more me in it?

Enjoy your kids now because in just a few more years they'll be even more annoying.