My son and I are at the Albert Hall for my wife’s birthday treat, Verdi’s Requiem. He’s taken her place as she’s ill. Boo. Still, the percussion section has cheered us up no end. Sure, that guy on This Morning might have the UK’s biggest todger, but has he got its biggest drum?

It's horrible politicising this sort of thing but it's inevitable from all sides, so I'd say this: I'm sure the average Tory is genuinely saddened by deaths in the English Channel, but it's hard to believe they're not significantly more moved by thoughts of far-flung deportation.

They say people hear what they want to hear but it can't be true, because I just heard Jonathan Gullis.

Homophones that sound like a group of musicians should be band.

God, the column inches being devoted to this story!

Madeley is very annoying here. He asks Cooper a question. She immediately says 'no', then goes on to talk about something else, which isn't unreasonable and is more important. He says she hasn't answered the question. 'No' IS answering the question, and answering it very clearly.

Suffer from insomnia or sleeping problems?

In my observations, many of you do.

I've been listening to an edition of Inside Health on Radio 4 called 'Can insomnia be fixed?'

My sleep is fine, so I can't vouch for the advice, but it sounds plausible.

Look it up on BBC Sounds!

Remember, you only have until noon to wish people a happy St George's Day. Leave it too late and you're the George.

Fascinating discussion on his birthday on #r4today on Shakespeare's facility with maths. One interesting aside is that his was apparently the first generation in England to start using Arabic numerals by default rather than Roman.

'George' is an anagram of 'egg roe' in honour of the English language's rich heritage in synonyms.

The clearest example you'll see today of how Rishi Sunak's priorities are bonkers. It's all about pointless posturing. It's not about sensible, proportionate governance. None of it is.

Just off for a hearing in a rape case. Allegation reported in 2021, trial not before 2025, if we’re all lucky.

No podium speeches from the Prime Minister about this. No promises to magic up more judges, courts or lawyers.

Just silence, and the threat of further cuts to come.

I keep getting this in my feed and, if 'Ad' didn't appear in the corner, I'd assume it had been created by one of the least-skilled, unsubtle Photoshop piss-takers on here. Those trousers! Why? And why does Versace think I'm interested? Is it because I tweeted about Oppenheimer?

All jokes aside, the animated page you reach if you click on today's Google Doodle is rather lovely. I presume it only works in the UK, at least by default. I wonder if it's been narrowed down to England. google.com/search?q=St.+G…

A good day to retweet this.