NEWS: Beckwith Women’s Group Releases New T-Shirts HAMCO—“Babes for Beckwith,” the self-proclaimed women’s group supporting Micah Beckwith’s campaign for Lt. Governor is selling a t-shirt online at MakeMeASandwich.org to raise funds for Beckwith. #Indiana #Indy #CarmelIN

LATEST: Beckwith Releases Latest Fundraising T-Shirt NQBLESVILLE—The campaign of Lt. Gov. candidate Micah Beckwith released for sale a new T-shirt aimed at “preparing Hoosier women to be put in their places.” It’s available at KnowYourRoleLadies.org. #CarmelIN #Indiana #Indy

NEWS: Beckwith Stunned There’s No Lt. Gov. Mansion HAMCO—During his daily video from his campaign HQ/car/home, Micah Beckwith lamented the lack of state housing for Lt. Govs. “The Lord whispered to me that if I win, I’ll still have to live in this car.” #Indiana #Indy #CarmelIN

LATEST: Beckwith, “Hawk Tuah, to the Constitution” HAMCO—When asked recently how his positions on book and abortion bans are Constitutional, Micah Beckwith responded, “When it comes to the Constitution, ‘Hawk Tuah, spit on that thang!’” #Indiana #Indy #CarmelI

NEWS: Local Soviet Congressman Caught With Weapon at DC Airport DC—Victor(ia) Spartz, Putin operative & congressman, was busted Friday trying to smuggle a weapon through Dulles Airport. When accosted the belligerent Bolshevik claimed it was an accident. #CarmelIN #Indiana #Indy

ARTS: Hamco GOP Head Does Trump Strip Tease HAMCO—Mario Mamalamadingdong, known colloquially as Temu Vivek, premiered his new Trump Strip tease, the latest self-own effort to elect a President that will try to deport him. #CarmelIN #Indiana #Indy x.com/thomasisnota/s…

NEWS: Hamco GOP, AG to host breakfast, money laundering workshop HAMCO—The local GOP will hold a breakfast/money laundering workshop hosted by Indiana AG Diego Morales. Attendees can choose to which drug cartel the $35 registration fee will be funneled. #CarmelIN #Indy #Indiana

NEWS: Beckwith’s SDE ‘25 Tour Heads to Westfield HAMCO—Noblesville Napoleon & Light Gov.-Elect Micah Beckwith publicly attacked Westfield Schools & parents after they objected to having their HS added as a stop on his Small Dick Energy 2025 state tour. #CarmelIN #Indiana #Indy

NEWS:’Carmel Cashmeres for Kids Campaign Kicks Off CARMEL—Today kicks off the 9th Annual Carmel Cashmeres for Kids. Donations of new or lightly-used cashmeres; to help middle-class kids have a warm, stylish winter; can be made at Christkindlmarkt. #CarmelIN #Indy #Indiana

NEWS: Effeminate Cosplayer to Lead “Raids” to Harm Local Landscaping HAMCO—A local cosplay enthusiast with the stage name “Sheriff BigHatBigBootsNoCattle,” announced via Reddit an effort to harm HamCo aesthetics by scaring away reliable landscapers. #CarmelIN #Indiana #Indy

NEWS: Trump Signs Executive Order Renaming Fishers CARMEL—Flanked by President Elon Musk, Donald Trump signed an executive order Wednesday renaming Fishers, Little Carmel. #CarmelIN #Indy #Indiana #FishersIN

NEWS: Congressman Decries Opposition Speech from Voters CARMEL—Rep. Victor(ia?) Spartz - R (Russia), called for elected representatives to end contact with non-compliant voters. The Soviet-born Spartz regrets the precarious survival of the 1st Amendment. #CarmelIN #Indiana #Indy

BREAKING: Images of Congressman, Russian Pres Excite GOP Chair HAMCO—Images of Rep. Victor(is?) Spartz (R)-Russia in a lip lock have excited Hamco GOP chair Mario DUIsaMany. “We are closer now to currying favor with the world’s greatest leader.” #CarmelIN #Indy #Indiana

NEWS: Putin’s Sister Hosts Town Hall HAMCO—Rep. Victoria Spartz (R-Moscow), hosted a town hall Friday night in Westfield. Her attempts to gaslight constituents went poorly. After the meeting, Spartz called Russian Pres. Vladimir Putin to request asylum. #CarmelIN #Indy #Indiana

BREAKING : HAMCO “Pastor” Turned Lt. Gov. “Comes Out” INDY—Pastor”/Lt. Gov. Micah Beckwith revealed his true self Saturday to media, admitting his evil towards LGBTQ Hoosiers was projection & self hatred. Micah asked to be known henceforth as Michele. #CarmelIN #Indy #Indiana

BREAKING: Local Fake Pastor Named Pope HAMCO—In a stunner, the Catholic conclave prepared to announce Thursday that former local fake pastor, turned Lite Gov., Micah Beckwith has been chosen as Pope. He will serve as Pope Ignoramus I. #CarmelIN #Indy #Indiana #Pope

LATEST: HamCo GOP Calls for Banning Roundabout Book Sculpture CARMEL—HamCo GOP Chair Mario Mammaldong is calling to ban the new book-themed roundabout art outside Carmel Public Library. “We must protect kids from books, as they lead to sexual thoughts.” #CarmelIN #Indy #Indiana

NEWS: Low Blood Flow Blamed for Beckwith’s General Ignorance CARMEL—“Lt. Gov.” Micah Beckwith today blamed his “totally not gay” skinny jeans for his bigotry and ignorance of law. “God told me my sexy jeans might be cutting blood flow to my brain…Derp.” #CarmelIN #Indiana #Indy

BREAKING: Trump Considers Carmel Takeover CARMEL—Citing a spike in violence, Pres. Trump is contemplating a takeover of Carmel. “The streets are violent, everyone says. Big violence near the roundabouts. Much worse crime than fake news Epstein.” Trump said. #CarmelIN #Indiana

BREAKING: Congresswoman Seized By ICE HAMCO—Russian operative Vlad Spartz (R-Moscow) was “cuffed and stuffed” today by federal ICE agents on “Trumped” up charges of “not BIGLY praising Dear Leader.” Spartz was flown to Vladivostok “for many years.” #CarmelIN #Indiana #Indy