"I have concepts of a plan."

We’d like to announce that while we are not a hotel, we are a concept of a hotel.

my mom didn't raise a quitter, she raised someone so afraid of failure that they don't even start something

Lost in all the lies and conspiracies is the fact that a large portion of Americans believe there’s a group of people so desperately hungry they’ve resorted to eating household pets and their response is “deport them!” or “lock them up!” rather than “let’s get them some food.”

I’ve traveled all around America and one of the craziest things to me is just how many places it’s perfectly normal for adult men to pretend to be cowboys

the set of rules for performing computations on YouTube is called the y’allgorithm

"If you don't want your tax dollars to help the poor, then stop saying you want a country based on Christian values, because you don't.” - Jimmy Carter

looking forward to another week where all the stuff I want to accomplish depends on a sense of self-discipline and executive functioning I've never once possessed in my life

Ever talk to someone so stupid you even know they’re using the wrong “there/their/they’re” when speaking?

My wife thinks I’m being unreasonable because I don’t want her to put the ornament of her & her first husband on the tree again this year. (He died from E. coli he got when Dave Matthews’ tour bus emptied its toilet on that bridge in Chicago as he was passing under on his jet ski

I've been through the Western Desert and caught a horse with no legs

i love this man so much

The only one stopping you from achieving your full potential is you. Remember that. You're awesome at it. You'll never achieve your full potential. Not on your watch.

If you don't want free school lunches for kids I think something is wrong with you. What's even the point of society or technology if we don't do something like that.

the Mavs traded Luka and you think you’re irreplaceable at work

What if beef jerky is just really big scabs and not even necessarily scabs from a cow.