Blessed is an understatement 🫶🏼🤭

The eclipse better get some glasses to look at ME

“Does your self tanner make you smell like potatoes “

Today's tshirt

This summer, we’re all outside🤷🏾‍♂️

My wife called Froot Loops "flamboyant Cheerios" and she's not wrong.

"When I was at your age, I survived a pandemic and didn't leave my house for 2 years. You'll be ok if you don't go out tonight" 🤣 We finally have a line to use for future kids

"Is it hard for you to just ask for some help?" Me:

“boobs are so profound” - collin

how i say things without actually saying it:

who else

"AI is coming for your job" oh, AI can have that

The 4th of July better feel like it’s a party in the usa

“id rather be orange than white”

“I’m crunchy”

BREAKING: It’s been announced that Yankee superstar Aaron Judge will be in Times Square this New Years Eve to help drop the ball.

2024 is by far my favorite year🥰🥺