oh im sorry i forgot your wife is DEAD

Absolute nightmare of an afternoon at the dmv. They do not want a playa renewing their license

After how many bugs do you start to second-guess the structural integrity of a window screen

(On the phone with jar jar binks while my friend tries to talk to me) hold on I’m on the phone with jar jar binks

I've been informed that my custom Rizzler emoji on Teams can be seen by my entire organization and can only be removed by IT

the pm moving their desk next to the dev team

This some of y’all … thinking you getting bread whole time you in a pickle..

Took me 45 mins to eat 2 pieces of toast. Great start to the day

I asked the produce guy if I could try a grape and he said he wouldnt care if I lit the store on fire with him in it

Nice job every one who stayed up through that game. Excellent display of toughness focus and mental reseliency

Food $200 Data $150 Rent $800 TouchTunes $3,600 Utility $150 someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying

Not Done Yet @jalenhurts | #FlyEaglesFly

Just informed me she’s going to Waste Management

Listening to God’s Plan

THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES ARE SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS!

PFF's highest graded CB this season: COOPER DEJEAN 🔒

Time On Ice leaders in Game Seven: 1 - WPG Pionk (46:15) 2 - WPG Samberg (44:00) 3 - STL Parayko (42:23) 4 - STL Fowler (40:35) 5 - STL Faulk (36:54) 6 - WPG DeMelo (36:40) 7 - WPG Connor (36:08) #GoJetsGo | #STLBlues

fuck that, come get bottomless apps

Love seeing raccoons eat out of my trash bin. Go ahead brother im done with that stuff