I was playing smash at a casual party and my friend's little brother wanted to play me 1 v 1 (I think he's 9) I was going to go easy on him but he hit one Pikachu Nair loop and I leaned forward

I learned the word catharsis from the Angry Birds movie

just coughed up blood i'm On my way! to the er fuck apple stop auto correcting o m w to that jolly ass retard

If Beethoven was deaf how could he see his piano

My life is so good rn

When I see you I only think one thing: me gusta

I play melee in a way that would make even Elton john

What does DI stand for?

vibe is off in the pasture today

My grief counsellor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.

Chekov's gas station boner pills

I would have loved being in the challenger explosion, it sounds like it was a blast

I’m crunching numbers you’ve never even smushed

We’re moving to Africa??? Uganda be kidding me!

Flip flops sound like what you would call a fish once you get it on land

not all angels are in heaven. I for example am in my house.

hydrated obama: uhh lemme pee clear

Wish they'd let you take a silly one during x-rays

IP address? you mean the bathroom?