S/O to my 3 possibly 4 friends

*someone hands me a baby* Oh... No thank you *places baby on the ground*

when u out of dress code and hear "excuse me miss"

Me deleting my tweets the morning after an emotional breakdown

Roses are red Violets are blue

Kim K looks like she hasn't changed her diaper in weeks

I demand a Harambe emoji

Do you ever just like flex your foot wrong and it cramps and you’re just like This is it This is how it ends

When you're lurking and see something funny but can't retweet it cause your lurking

Me: Mom I'm going to a party later Mom: Do you have a ride home? Me:

Perks of being ugly: Phone battery lasts longer

Become a nurse they said, it'll be fun they said.

BREAKING: Michael Phelps released back into the ocean after 15+ years of captivity... 😂

Fav this if you'd buy a Kazoo kid T-Shirt if I made some

look. life is bad. evryones sad. we're all gona die. but i alredy bought this inflatable boumcy castle so r u gona take ur shoes off or wat

Oh, you put $4,000 rims on your 1998 Honda Civic? Good choice. That's like your grandma going out & getting her tits done.

Drastic measures to pay for college

When someone catches you deleting emails

Females: men are clowns and unfaithful Us Men: bruh. fuck is she talking about

When finals week come up