job interviewer asked me if i have any questions and i pulled the “when can i start?” and everyone in the zoom call laughed

Quando chego no trabalho e tem trabalho

"Why don't you post yourself anymore?" Me:

when u accidentally block an intersection and everyone is staring at you

she’s so cunty

I’m at an age where opening my blinds to get some sunlight in the house brings me joy.

hoe ass bitch

My dog in the middle of the night about to throw up

he would’ve fought the hantavirus himself if it was on his ship

owing me money and having plasma in your body is crazy

not to self diagnose but something is definitely not right

zero (0) drinks in and we’re already talking shit about israel

That ship should’ve never made it out the ocean omfg!

They out here charging $20 for 8 wings. I don’t give a fuck about no aliens right now