you didn’t just make me cum—you made me arrive—and honestly? that’s growth. 🌱

Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to log into Microsoft Authenticator 47 times a day.

Got stuck in the elevator with the anti abortion freaks on campus and audibly farted on them

Palantir run!!!!!

Eric Kripke diz que foto de Donald Trump como Jesus Cristo arruinou uma das piadas mais absurdas de “The Boys”: “Eu achava que essa era a coisa mais insana que poderia acontecer, até Trump divulgar uma imagem dele como Deus 48 horas antes da exibição do episódio. Há um mês,

Uncaged for this photo

Just got back from the TPSUA protest #TerrelMall #AbortionIsChildSacrifice

Wife making dinner. Watchin from the cuck chair (wife’s bf bought it for me). Life really couldn’t get much better than this. Unless I had a j. Then it could get a little better.

This is what it felt like to be in a frat with an eyebrow piercing

Wish someone could get me a free bag of chips

Bartering food for joint dms open

Never let your guard down

it's fuck AI till your assignment due in 25 minutes

Every person with ADHD has a favorite playlist. It’s called “Liked Songs”.

I like goin to the gym at 3pm bc it’s just all the people with mysterious income sources

Can’t stop thinking about this.

every time i piss into the dead spot in my yard that has become dead because i piss on it i wonder, if i am god’s creation then why does my piss not nourish the earth