Quit playing hard to fuck

gonzalo is a virgin

everyone please stop getting married ur scaring the hoes

my friend group from high school is still unmatched bro i miss them

it’s come to my attention that if i get my law degree, my title will be “JJ, J.D”... due to these unforeseen circumstances i have decided to go with a different career path

i wouldn’t be surprised if we never saw denise richards again

fuck

so you want me to pay $10.95 to download a ~virtual~ copy of my diploma...? $10.95 for my $100,000 piece of paper...? that isn’t even a piece of paper because it’s...virtual...????

a religious experience is having the wine and the melatonin hit at the same time

the evolution of sloths is so unfortunate

Makiyah Bryant was shot four times in the chest.

#NewProfilePic

i have the audacity to wonder why my love life is unstable, whole time i’m out here sexually attracted to the joker

i dropped a hundred of tabs of acid in a year but i’m allergic to lettuce

Handshakes are disgusting. I would literally rather have sex with you

!!!!!! fellow atlanta people, please be extra cautious & don’t go out alone at night or at any time. ESPECIALLY queer residents, there is currently reason to believe this attack was a disgusting act of hate towards katie as an lgbtq+ person.

no time for the old in-out love, ive just come to read the meter

help me pick 1 for halloween thx

Check your thyroid before you come for me bitch

thrifted this entire look for $7 😈