I NEED TO USE A PICK UP LINE ON SOMEONE RIGHT NOW PLEASE

/Bites into a raw sausage stick/

…. /offers her some./

HAHA I was gone for a few days and now y’all are talking about fucking a fish…….. / Disappears for the next 3 months /

I don’t want to think about it…

What is this supposed to mean? 🤨

I broke my phone for the 500th time

Um, yes?? What else am I supposed to eat for a week straight?

/ Squints / Since when do you support my long going adventures, eh? Are you sneaking a tracking device into my backpacky??

I’m always safe, I dont get what you’re so worried about all the time! Some protein bars and water bottles is all I need to keep me goin’ for life!

Little does she know I almost lost my arm to a gator yesterday.

Stop calling me that, you know my name… I won’t put your efforts to waste though. I’m sure i’ll take whatever you make along with me before I leave in the morning.

╔════⋯⇋⚔⇌⋯════╗        Once more, I have kept             the Princess safe! ╚════⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯════╝

I left because you ripped on my protein bars.

I’m just kidding. I got lost for a week. ✨

Anyways, I have boba. /Slurps and chokes on one of them./

Of course i’m unharmed! When have I ever injured myself on expedition, huh?

That’s a fake tweet..

Even if I lost my arm i’d get it back as a souvenir.~ /He’s joking/ But yeah i’m fine. I guess it’s nice to relax after that long time away.