People I don’t trust, part 1: “I’m just not a biscuit person”

So hoping that the “workflow consultant” or “efficiency expert” coming next week is opportunity to hear that I need to be considered for early retirement.

If a US representative asking a person testifying before Congress whether or not she wants God to curse Columbia U is a not spot-on example of how much our country is fucked right now,I don’t know what is.

Watching it snow through “Spring” here in Denver is just one of the moods that makes me such a delight.

Sometimes my job is advocating for a vegan patient requesting appropriate menu in the hospital (the audacity)but was consistently brought meat as the protein. It should not be this hard. She should not have needed my advocacy. At a hospital posting billions in profits.

Subtle forms of torture: starting a 3-day training and you know the otherwise quite articulate and seemingly learned speaker is going to say “resignate” instead of “resonate” and “resignated” in place of “resonated “ for the entire three days, and I’m only 4 hours in.

When it’s been a Monday at the hospital and it’s finally warm enough for poolside after work and you need to be prepared for philosophy discussion group this weekend and you aim to be as cool as the French intellectual @MarkJMasterson 😬

I went to see a pt today—even from chart review I was dreading it. From the hallway I could hear him yelling at his nurse and she was yelling back “YOU’RE NOT EVEN THE SICKEST PATIENT I HAVE!!” Nope. Documented I attempted but pt “occupied by care team”. Oof.

I say quite confidently that you could not find a more delicious, perfect textured, absolutely scrumptious chocolate chip cookie anywhere. #youknowyouwantone #secretingredient #cookie

Email from AirBnb: “Pining for an Outdoor Escape?” Delete—mark as junk. Dear AirBnb: know your audience.

Why I’m bad at small talk, pt 1: Nurse A: “I think he’s into drag racing and stuff.” Nurse B: “oh fun!!” Me: “but is it really?” Nurse A: arched eyebrow Nurse B : *smirk that said I said what she was really thinking* #speakyourtruth #smalltalk

So I guess I should scratch Barcelona off my list of possible retirement destinations.

Doc: “patient looks good. But he could also die”. This is basically what I say about myself on the daily.

The most satisfying thing I did this week was delete over 50 listings from contacts in my phone.

Announcing release of new novella from the pen of Minerva Perez: “Elevator Etiquette” Part 1: Allow people exiting the elevator to safely exit prior to pushing your way on like a fucking animal”. The End #peopleareaconstantsourceoffrustrationanddisappointment

Social working in a capitalist society is exhausting b

Woman Listens to Guided Meditation on 1.75x Speed: ow.ly/6f5450TEBNa

There is a group of scuba enthusiasts in a bougie Colorado mountain resort town. My sister-in-law referred to them as Beaver Divers. At the other end of the table, my niece looked at me and was laughing/mouthing “beaver divers”. My work here is done.

I wish I believed in hell just so Greg Abbott could burn for eternity.

trying to figure out why my coworker thought these were acceptable ice breaker questions for a team meeting… the graphic designs are killing me