Driving past ur place of employment on the weekend should be considered a hate crime

kid rock makes music for people who steal welfare money from their states

If Patriots lose, I’m beating the shit out of my man

I might beat a man tn im fired up fuck Seattle

The Ents showing up to take down Isengard

Note to self men don’t like the idea of being beat

Sheryl crow should release a new version of picture featuring bad bunny

I have seen two penises on public transport today and that’s two more that i would prefer

Need to be squeezed lovingly until i drift away into blissful unconsciousness

i’ve started transferring money from every paycheck into my savings account and budgeting to only spend the remainder in my checking and i really thought that i was serving suze orman puss until i realized that is what most well adjusted have done their entire lives

Showed vulnerability and immediately broke out in hives

Telling him the real gift i want for Valentine’s Day is to live in his skin

Off to see the hat man this time HE owes me money

My favorite thing about my 30s has been going to bed at 9PM

This has to be one of the worst recasts in TV history

I am most flexible when anxiously sitting on the metro north back to the city i also didnt know my leg could bend like that

If u think abt it the rat king is kind of romantic imagine scurrying over & cuddling ur fellow rats so hard u end up in a knot u cant escape

Emailed my therapist bc i found myself agreeing w homeless guy that preaches in the herald sq subway he was stating facts but it’s time to get medicated again i cannot defeat u mental illness even tho i try

The hat man is not real the hat man cannot hurt me

Girls watch lord of the rings for the plot… The plot: