It's #MyTwitterAnniversary! I have been on Twitter for 5 years (since 29 Aug 2013). And you? TwiAge.com

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 6 years, since 29 Aug 2013 (via Twi Age 🥳).

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 7 years, since 29 Aug 2013 (via Twi Age 🥳).

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 8 years, since 29 Aug 2013 (via Twi Age 🥳).

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 9 years, since 29 Aug 2013 (via Twi Age 🥳).

I tried extranet dating once.

Attention ladies and crackwhores! I have returned from my latest stint in rehab and I'm completely clean. Almost.

I also must inform several Asari maidens to be tested for scale itch. Also that there's no way I can be the father of their daughters.

I'm voting against Councilor Trump. With my Carnifex.

Yes. I have tested positive for scale itch. It is a completely manageable sexually transmitted infection.

There was a period of my life where I was hanging around and partying with a lot of unsavory characters.

But my PR guy told me to make a public statement saying there is no way I could have infected anyone else. But that's just impossible.

I've screwed half the women in the galaxy. With no protection, and I offered. Scale itch is probably more common than a cold these days.

Ladies. I am single and looking. I only ask that you give me red sand three times an hour and call me daddy during lovemaking.

Hello gorgeous. @BioticLawBringr

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 3 years (since 29 Aug 2013). And you? TwiAge.com

It's time to make the galaxy #winning again.

I'm back bastards. And my Scale Itch has been fully suppressed.

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 4 years (since 29 Aug 2013). And you? TwiAge.com